All posts tagged: insecurities

Yes to Nose & no to plastic surgery

Recently I read a blog post in which the author openly described the process of her considering plastic surgery on her nose so to improve her looks. My reaction? A blog post-worthy comment. I was so inspired because I have had my own troubles relating to my nose and to other parts of my body. This post is a further exploration of my thoughts and feelings. I cheer for everyone who chose to not use plastic surgery but to accept themselves as they are instead. Or to at least aim to learn to accept themselves. Getting to self-acceptance takes a lot of practice, I acknowledge that. I cheer for this because the positive effects of plastic surgery are so little. I would almost say that they are insignificant to the unwanted side-effects. The only positive thing about it is the change in looks, really. The other effects include: physical stress or damage, financial costs, negative side-effects that are associated to making the surgery happen (e.g. carbon emissions, involved money flows). Then there’s the psychological effects …

Confessions of a Social Media addict

My previous posts about sharing insecurities reminded me of the following. In the end of last year, Facebook and Instagram famous Essena O’Neill radically quit what she had been doing full-time for the past three years: she has been living for taking pictures in which she looked good, altering them, posting them on social media and receiving likes and followers. Now, all of a sudden, she had decided to quit social media, and for good reasons. This time she posted a video titled ‘Why I am REALLY quitting Social Media’ in which she tells her followers how her life has been, on  how she let herself define by numbers, by followers, likes and views, which became the only things that made her feel good. On how on the ages of 16 to 18 she spent her whole days proving herself online, trying to be that perfect person. On how she feels about it now, now she’s quit. She acts incredibly courageous. In the video she gets very emotional when she talks about her 12 year-old …

Walking the Talk of Vulnerability: exposing the personal blog

From the start of my already long-stretched blogging career I’ve been facing the same dilemma: to tell or not to tell my family and friends about it. You’d think writers want to be read, but there is a case for anonymity and sharing only with those close friends you know to appreciate your style, your online friends and those few other bloggers from across the ocean and wherever. With my current blog I have come to the point where I want to cover important topics, for others to read it and get involved. This is now my primary reason to write. Following from this, you’d expect me to widely promote my blog. I don’t. I am afraid of rejection. Being open about our insecurities and fears will bring us closer together One of my favourite themes is Vulnerability and how we can use it to change the world for the better. It goes like this: We are incredibly similar in that we all have insecurities and fears and this is what can bring us closer together. …

The many ways of Love – and how to do it

My most-recommended book of 2015: The Ethical Slut, a book about shaping and sizing relationships according to your wishes in an ethical and sustainable way. You may not expect it from the title, but The Ethical Slut (TES)  is a really smart book! I learned a lot from it and I’m going to tell you all about it. TES is written by authors Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy and, as can be expected from the title, in this book they proudly reclaim the word slut as a term of approval: ‘To us, a slut is a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.’ That is quite a nice way to put it. This is a book about relationships. The subtitle of the 2nd edition reads: ‘A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships & other adventures’. I will tell you now that if you’re not interested in having multiple intimate relationships at the same time, this book can still be …

The advantages of wearing soft bras

Earlier I already wrote a bit about body image and self-love and how clothing can play a role in connecting to yourself and others. I believe that if we could value our appearances as less important, we would be able to connect more deeply with ourselves and one another. In my earlier posts I said something about simple clothing, being somehow neutral-looking and comfortable. On this topic, there is one specific thing I’d like to share further. Last fall I attended a Vipassana meditation course. I was just wearing comfortable clothes, all was fine. Until one day during meditation I got enormously aware of how uncomfortably tight my bra was. And really, it wasn’t enormously tight. It had been one of my favourite, best-fitting bras for years. Bras are supposed to be tight, that’s how they behave best. Say what? I got very confused and frustrated. Is this normal? Is this how it feels? I had heard of women disliking wearing bras and being really relieved when being able to take them off after a …

Post Secret community art project

This post is about a really cool community art project: Post Secret, for which people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.
This results in enormously impressive honesty on insecurities and vulnerability. It gives insight in so many different forms of conflict and trouble in human nature, in relationships, in society, etc. I find it really interesting to get to read the secrets different people harbour. It is so real, so recognizable. We all have secrets, be it small or bigger ones. We have troubles coping with our feelings. We are so similar.

Clothing reconsidered

In my post Love your Body I introduced the topic of body positivity. I wrote something about how I think getting used to being naked or else in simple clothing will be good for your body image and self-love. I then did not specify simple clothing which makes it a very vague statement, but I did mean something with it. Clothing often seems to be really important. I recall that when I had the age of five a group of girls didn’t let me play with them because I was not wearing a dress. Later, I felt regularly as if I wasn’t really wearing the right and nice clothes and as if that made me worth less. I feel as if it took me ages to somewhat find out what I want and don’t want to wear and I just still don’t know really. However, I did find some things. With the ‘simple clothing’ I meant two things. First is that the clothing that you wear as a person is often linked to your ego …

Love your Body

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about both physical and mental health and taking good care of yourself. One thing that bothers me tremendously is the beauty industry, for they want you to believe you’re ugly, so you’ll buy their products. This quote I heard in a video summing up advices on how to live a happy life: ‘Don’t read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.’ That one really struck me. It’s so simple, yet it can be hard to see, for avoiding beauty magazines alone is not enough. The beauty industry’s messages are everywhere, they’ve become part of our cultures. Plus, this industry does its utter best to trick you into thinking they’re doing you a favour. Recently, in the UK there has been commotion because of Protein World’s advertisement for it’s weight loss collection. The advertisement shows a female model in bathing clothing with the text ‘Are you beach body ready?’. A petition on Change.org has been set up aiming to get Protein World to remove the posters. The founder …

Connecting through Insecurities

As I was deciding on something important to write about, the What I Be Project popped up. What I Be (WIB) is a project of photographer Steve Rosenfield, for which he takes portraits of persons with their greatest insecurities written on them for everyone to read. Every person thus picture also comes with a statement from their side starting with ‘I am not my’. The pictures and statements are meant to show that these and actually all people have insecurities, but instead of being owned by those, these people are owning them. Steve writes: ‘By stating “I am not my_____,” they are claiming that they do in fact struggle with these issues, but it does not define who they are as a person.’ (…) ‘It is to spread awareness on what people go through due to society’s paved roads. These are serious issues that some of us can live with, but most battle on a day to day basis. Steve started photographing for this project in September 2010 and had since then been capturing insecurities …