It’s time for me to write something about my spiritual background! In the last few years I have learnt a lot and I have come to feel more secure about talking and writing about the theme of spirituality or consciousness. Also, recently I promoted my blog a little more and a friend even interviewed me about consciousness and meditation for his website. So now seems a good time to unfold a little, for who is interested.
Some of you may recognize yourself in my story. At least now you’ll know better where me and my writings are coming from. I will attempt to keep it short. Questions can always be asked, and they may be answered.
I did not write about ‘my spiritual background’ before, mostly because I deemed it not so important. I figured readers would get the vibe of my writing and that would be enough. The right stuff would come up in my posts anyways. But now I’ll give you a better picture of my path so far!
As a child I learnt to suppress my emotions so to survive in this harsh world. I got pretty disconnected from my feelings and emotions. I did not know much about them, really. My choice of studying BSc Biology really came forth of a rejection of things that are man-made. I liked nature because it was not human (except the human body of course). In hindsight I find this very funny, especially because later relationships became my most favorite study subject.
I moved to student houses and into student life, so my environment changed drastically. I have learnt a lot from being with fellow (Biology) students and from (living with) housemates. I learnt a lot about possible ways to be and to live. However, I did not greatly fit in with Biology students, because I was not so much a nature lover as most of them (in their own special ways). The others did inspire me a lot. Most certainly I was drawn there because I yearned to be more in contact with others, myself and with nature. Also, I now see that back then I found the social structures, relationships and the people much more interesting and worthy of my attention than the curriculum of mu studies.
My emotional life got stirred open. I am very thankful for all friends and housemates who were there for me, and with whom I could share my journey.
After my BSc I took a gap year to find out what I wanted to do next. I volunteered, got in touch with tantra, with vegans, with poly-amorous people, with animal rights activists, with do-ers who actually did their best to contribute to a better world. I learnt to meditate. I became vegan. I became an activist. I started this blog to write about veganism, sustainability and spirituality. I found that studying MSc Environmental Sciences would help me contribute to a better world.
Then I continued everything I started. I learnt more. I read books on spirituality. I practiced vipassana meditation and kundalini yoga, and I still do. I found a partner with whom I am in a very valuable romantic relationship. I learn about ‘spiritual sexuality’. I would also call myself a feminist. Over the years I also saw several therapists so to learn about myself and improve my way of being and living.
So that’s how I came here and how our paths came to cross on this page!
So my knowledge and insights about spirituality and consciousness are gathered over the years, of course, but I also learnt a lot from: reading books of Eckhart Tolle and Jan Geurtz; of taking the 10-day vipassana medidation course by S.N. Guenka in which you get dhamma, which is the teaching of Gautama Buddha (through here); from taking kundalini yoga classes; and from an introductory course in Buddhism.
I do not generally call myself a Buddhist, mostly because Gautama Buddha never intended to start a religion. Gautama Buddha taught dhamma, which is a way of living and not a religion. I aim to practice dhamma and vipassana meditation, but not necessarily Buddhism.
At the same time I am interested in other streams of spirituality or spiritual practices. I do kundalini yoga, which is quite different from vipassana meditation, but I find it very interesting (and for me, until now, they go well together).
In addition, I am very passionate about tantra and using sexuality in a spiritual way! I believe that healing our sexuality, healing the shame, frustration and guilt, is very important to mankind. At least for me personally it is! Through these practices our discomfort can be transformed and make space for pleasure. I have not written about this yet, but I’ll definitely do so later.
In case you are, like me, interested in horoscope kinda things, I will list some of my types: My galactic signature in the 13 Moon Calendar is White Crystal Wind (accurate). My Human Design is Projector 2/4 (accurate too). My zodiac sign is Scorpio, but I hardly looked into that (but seems accurate). My Myers-Briggs type is INFJ. For readers of The Celestine Prophecy: my go-to method is to be aloof. I also like tantric numerology, but it may not be relevant to share now.
I would like to add something about my current ambitions. I am very determined to continue to develop myself spiritually. Naturally, I don’t know where my path will lead me, but for now I happily use the mentioned practices and traditions.
As I am writing this, I am 25 years old and I am soon to finish my studies Environmental Sciences. I want to work on sustainability on the systems level, using the system approach. With this I mean that I want to see the bigger picture of a problem and to solve it from that understanding. No externalities, no ignorance, no blinds spots. I don’t know how realistic that sounds, but I am certain that I can contribute. (I still like relationships, you see. I like to consider the relationships in a system!)
I think that sustainability and spiritual development (or personal development or consciousness) are pretty related. I think that a certain level of personal development is needed to achieve true sustainability. (In quite the same way in which I think ‘polyamory’ and ‘spirituality’/consciousness are related: they simply have to go together to work well.) This may be on a personal level, but also on a societal level.
That’s it! My life story and spiritual background. After reading you may have a slightly better understanding of me and of yourself and of how we relate to each other. 🙂 If you feel called to reply, please do so!
Picture through Pixabay.