Something really powerful is happening: women all over the world are empowering themselves and others through reconnecting with the feminine. It appears that for way too long we have been living in societies dominated by the masculine. Masculinity is generally regarded as more powerful than femininity and its power has brought us to where we are today, but to grow further we need to embrace the feminine and reclaim our feminine power.
My interested in femininity got renewed after reading and hearing about the ongoing developments. This is a movement I would want to be part of! However, first I’d have to connect to the feminine myself… What is femininity really? And how does it relate to female, and to masculine and male?
In my search, last December I suggested to a feminism discussion group to discuss a theme related to it: sexuality, femininity and masculinity, to which extent we identify with our sex and gender and which role this plays in society. A few weeks later I found myself hosting the very discussion. Most of all, I was hoping to get loads of interesting input from the group, for it to be a fruitful discussion of which we could all learn.
First, I set out to get clarity about the terms male, female, masculinity and femininity. I assumed we’d be on a similar page, or that we could work it out quickly, but it wasn’t easy! The discussion never really headed to where I intended it to go, because it kept being stuck here in the conceptualisation stage. For clarity and fun, we constructed lists of qualities we thought fit masculine and feminine. Sadly, they were really messy. After playing, the conclusion from the group was: ‘This is bullshit, this is what lives in our society but it’s not true. There’s no such thing as masculine (male) or feminine (female) qualities.’ (The terms masculine and male, as well as feminine and female, kept being mixed up throughout the discussion.)
Then I asked the group: ‘So if this is your conclusion, does that mean that you do not identify with being either male or female?’ Eyes widened by surprise. Things were about to get more interesting! And that’s exactly when we were asked to leave the café, because it was closing. We drifted apart.
I was disappointed by how the discussion went, but it also illustrated that it is indeed a tough subject to talk about! For most people it is not clear what these terms are supposed to mean. Is there even a clear definition? Is it possible to define?
My search didn’t end here. I browsed some books about related themes and I have been following a few websites, etcetera. And now, finally, I found an awesome illustration of what the difference between the feminine and the masculine. I am thrilled to pour at least some of it into this blog post, hoping to make it more clear for myself and others and to keep the conversation and movement going and growing.
In my understanding femininity and masculinity are energies. We all have both in us, but in varying ratios. Most females have more femininity than masculinity, and most males have it the other way around. I find it plausible for these energies to be at play when selecting a partner: we seek a partner whose energies complement our own. However, these energies are not static; they flow. There’s an ever-changing flow of energies.
Illustrated by Claire Zammit
Before, I listened to a podcast by Claire Zammit, co-creator of the Feminine Power training courses which have helped hundreds of thousands of women to get empowered. She talked about the feminine in a way I hadn’t heard before. Read More